That is what I seem to have become since Jon. Seriously. And I know it started before the break-up, when we started having problems but two months later I'm still drinking too much, I'm still anxious as can be, I'm still feeling like a complete and total idiot.
I probably tried to start dating too soon. Maybe it's still too soon. All I know is that I went from being a great girlfriend to everyone: my friends, my ex-boyfriend; and now I just fuck things up... mostly by being drunk and stupid. God, if only I could repeat last September, October, November and December all over again... And I'm desperately trying to dig myself out of the hole I created for myself. In the meantime I've been anxious and obnoxious and depressed and I really really really hope that my friends can continue to keep their patience with me because lord knows that if they're my friends they must have endless patience. I hope all of you know how much I love you.
I'll be honest, my mom, step-dad and brother being away doesn't help any. I so badly wanted to be on the ranch in Arizona with them for Thanksgiving. And I know I'll be going out there in April, but my brother won't be with me so it won't be the same.
On another note, hopefully I'll score some overtime at work soon so I can start to dig myself out of debt.
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